(w)hole
When you feel there is a hole in you, and act (it is hardly always the case when one is aware of such acting, or even of such feeling) as if it (the hole) is the whole (i.e. inescapable, all consuming) of you, it will never suffice to fill it (be this filling much of one or many things), it must be healed. To fill it, this is only distraction, a vacuum, a black hole; one cannot clean the oceans cup by cup, no matter what with; the source(s) of poison(ing) must be found. Change diet, or more cavities surely are on the way. Awareness is key, and distraction/deception tugs in opposition to that (just as justice often sits in opposition to understanding). Why must we deceive ourselves, with mental sleight of hand? what makes it easier to ignore such poisoning? There are automatic conditioned responses (e.g. thoughts), -- that one needn't reflect, just know otherwise (they are called thoughts, a noun, static, not thinking, the verb, which has been done in the past in this instance. Thought of this variety is not reflection, but condition [a conditioning having already taken place to bypass/override thinking/reflection]). Knowledge without reflection, and you call this truth? What you call your truth I call self-deception. Go against your side, briefly, consider antinomian thought, if but for a moment. I write to ears, but do they hear through all the distraction?
Do you hear that? Surely, it calls again, it beckons, always. Go, go back. It sounds now, that you must return. Follow the noise, and there, there is your breadcrumb trail. Me? I will wander on. That is my destiny, my destination.